remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
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Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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