well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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