Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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