That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
