He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
