yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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