just come out here and I will go home with you...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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