is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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