I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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