covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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