I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
