Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So much rum. So many feels.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize