i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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