thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
