is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
