He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
