so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm sobbing to NWA
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
