Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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