Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
