Umm I'm too high to move.
we made out on top of his cat.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
