I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
one two three fourrrrnication!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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