OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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