I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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