I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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