Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
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she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
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I'm the Oprah of jello shots
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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