Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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