Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
