I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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