I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
