I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
