So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
