we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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