your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
