the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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