Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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