I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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