I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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