you would pick up someone in the library
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
