I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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