I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize