I can tuck mytits in my pants
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
