i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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