Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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