I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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