no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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