What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
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