I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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