So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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