Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
