You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
