just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
