i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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