I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
