It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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