I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
