Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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