Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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