Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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