Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yo dont text me then not text me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
