So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
