Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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