We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
